Dave Barry

Dave Barry was born in Armonk, New York, in 1947 and has been steadily growing older ever since without ever actually reaching maturity. He attended public schools, where he distinguished himself by not getting in nearly as much trouble as he would have if the authorities had been aware of everything. He is proud to have been elected Class Clown by the Pleasantville High School class of 1965.

Barry went to Haverford College, where he was an English major and wrote lengthy scholarly papers filled with sentences that even he did not understand. He graduated in 1969 and eventually got a job with a newspaper named -- this is a real name ---The Daily Local News, in West Chester, Pa., where he covered a series of incredibly dull municipal meetings, some of which are still going on.

In 1975 Barry joined Burger Associates, a consulting firm that teaches effective writing to businesspersons. He spent nearly eight years trying to get various businesspersons to for God's sake stop writing things like "Enclosed please find the enclosed enclosure," but he eventually realized that it was hopeless. So in 1983 he took a job at The Miami Herald, and he has been there ever since, although he never answers the phone. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary, pending a recount. His column appears in several hundred newspapers, yet another indication of the worsening drug crisis.

In 1996 Barry married Michelle Kaufman, a sportswriter for the Miami Herald. He has a son, Robert, who recently got his driver's license, which should make everybody nervous.

Barry has written a number of short but harmful books, including Babies and Other Hazards of Sex and Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States. His books, including Dave Barry Turns 50, Dave Barry is from Mars AND Venus, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs, Dave Barry in Cyberspace, Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys and Dave Barry Turns 40, have been hailed by the critics as "containing a tremendous amount of white space."

The CBS television series Dave's World was based on two of his books; the show has been canceled, but for the time being his life continues. Also, he set fire to a pair of underpants with a Barbie doll on national television and owns a guitar that was once played by Bruce Springsteen.